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Happy Birthday Dad

 Tomorrow is my Fathers 67th birthday,

I’m writing today because I may not get a chance tomorrow and it’s important for me to take a moment to celebrate my Dad.  About 8 years ago my Dad had a heart attack, he was clinically dead for 20 minutes and boy, was he pissed off that he had been brought back.  Dad claims he saw nothing on the other side, but my Aunt and I wonder if the reason he was so mad about it is that he did.  It was pretty scary and to see the parent, who was always seemingly more healthy, get struck by something potentially fatal, was hard.  I was in a weird mental space when it happened but managed to get my shit together (with the help of whanau) and get back to my home country.  I was home for 9months, I had to help convince him to pack up and sell our family home and he had to convince me not to stay.

Growing up, our relationship was pretty solid, we had a couple bad patches but thats pretty normal.  My parents didn’t seperate till I was an adult so having both of them was a bit of a novelty as a teenager, but as an adult, I realise how lucky I am to have known and have my father in my life for my whole life.  Dad is the youngest of 7 kids, 5 sisters and 1 brother definitely shaped him and in turn that shaped me.  Dad taught me to be bold, to fight back, he also taught me to be kind and introduced me to some great music, movies and books.

About 4years ago, Dad had to have another pretty serious operation, rewiring his robot heart or something like that.  We were in the midst of the panoramic still and I made a quick decision to get back ASAP.  I got out of my city the day before it went back into lockdown and managed to get back to Dad. While there, my homeland was battling a new health crisis, meaning Dads op got cancelled, so we took the chance to spend some quality time together.  We took a road trip to the town he was born, visited family friends, ate well and talked like, really talked, as adults, with no one there to try and tell us our memories weren’t right and our feelings weren’t valid.  Honestly and unabridged we healed some wounds and confessed some sins.  It was just what both of us needed.

I haven’t seen Dad since that trip, we speak infrequently on the phone, there is the occasional social media message but other than that, we know the other loves us and when we do catch up, its like no time has passed.  I love my Dad and I wouldn’t change a thing about him or our relationship, although I do wish he would come and live across the ditch with me.

I am so thankful for his friend, my brother and my sister in law for saving his life.

Happy Birthday Old Man, I love you very much, here is to another 40 years of giving you grey hairs xo

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