Annnnnnd they’re back! I’ve just looked back and realised its been a whole month (give or take a few days) since i have sat down to write. The reason for this is a half assed excuse, since the point was to give me something other than, but I have been back to mahi. Not full time but I have been there 4 days a week, which is massive for me. It feels good, being back in service makes me feel better than I could have expected. Not quite to my full capabilities or actual role, but to be back amongst it has been a relief. I am still struggling with pain and limitations, but just leaving the whare on a regular basis is good for me, and my ātaahua kurī (beautiful dog). I awoke this morning at 3am, from a weirdly euphoric dream, and could not get myself back to sleep. So I rustled my bones and put on an audiobook to finish the chores I have been avoiding. It’s a satisfying start to the day and gives way to do more fun shit without the guilt. ...
Tomorrow is my Fathers 67th birthday, I’m writing today because I may not get a chance tomorrow and it’s important for me to take a moment to celebrate my Dad. About 8 years ago my Dad had a heart attack, he was clinically dead for 20 minutes and boy, was he pissed off that he had been brought back. Dad claims he saw nothing on the other side, but my Aunt and I wonder if the reason he was so mad about it is that he did. It was pretty scary and to see the parent, who was always seemingly more healthy, get struck by something potentially fatal, was hard. I was in a weird mental space when it happened but managed to get my shit together (with the help of whanau) and get back to my home country. I was home for 9months, I had to help convince him to pack up and sell our family home and he had to convince me not to stay. Growing up, our relationship was pretty solid, we had a couple bad patches but thats pretty normal. My parents didn’t seperate till ...